Feelings

Being a woman is pretty awesome, we get free booze at bars, free weed on the train, free stuff at shows, we are beautiful to look at and touch, we have the super power to create a reference map in our brains (thanks to our hunting gathering ancestors), we create other humans, we are pretty freaky awesome! But then there is that time of the month. The week before our periods. I am pretty sure I'm not the only woman who thinks this way. In my case I become a food monster and eat anything between my reach which then makes me all gassy and I get a bloated belly then I get pimples all over my beautiful face or unexpected places like on one of my butt cheeks or inside my nose. I am inexplicably tired all the time, things smell  really bad or really good and if I could I would have sex with anything! And then...and then that bubble gum tentacle monster who lives in my tight chest starts to wake up from its deep slumber bursting out in an aggressive wave of disgusting sticky feelings. I become insecure about my body, I feel fat, ugly and did I say fat? I got out of my way to find dumb shit to make me sad, dumb shit like puppies on the internet. That's the one thing about being a woman that I can't deal with. I wish I could have that pill to surpress feelings, that same pill men take I assume.